Swine Flu

Now got 1 virus going round the world. This one is powerflu.. called SWINE FLU. This one no cure. now we all must be on guard. Go for flu jab.

Joe and me scared of Swine Flu. So we buy thermometer to check temperature ourselves. Be safe. Check who you encounter with. Jot down where you go. Take your temperature ALL the time.

Joe came my house last night to take temperature. I showed him where it is, and he stuffed the thermometer into his mouth for 2 mins.

"eh.. an chua your thermometer anneh chao??"

"Eh Joe... i take temperature in my backside hole.."


zzzzzz.....

"what is wet dreams ah?"

Was that supposed to be a trick question or just wanting to know what sort of wet dreams i had?

Anyways...

Wet dream is like... day time sibeh stressed, then u see one hot chio bu on the MRT.. but still no time to stare at her longer.. so at night when u're so tired and fall asleep.. it comes into your dream ......

The girl u saw on the MRT..starts to appear in a villa.. u're lying on the King size bed with your beh (horse) UP.. the girl climb onto you..and ride your beh (Horse)... she's naked and you see her full glory in front of you... she starts to ride harder and faster.. u see wind blowing against her face.. u see sweat... your heart pump fast and faster and fastest... Then you COMMMEEEEEE!!!!

"AH BOY AH!!!! KI LAI LIOW AH...... KI ZHO KANG AH!!"

Your marder picks up a fallen off pillow from your bed and whack you on the head. u accidentally ejeculate..and a sense of paiseh-ness engulf your face... u franticallyflipped over chest lying against your bed and tell your mother...

"WAIT LAH...I NEED TO FINISH PRAYING FIRST LAH!"

yeah right.... u better pray your marder dont see the mess on your bed sheets or your pyjamas boy!!!

And next time... LOCK THE FUGGING DOOR OF YOUR BEDROOM..

Sibeh Busy...

3 days bo blog liow.. GAN silang itchy...

These few days sibeh hot.. towkay also hot.. i also hot... LJ aircon also HOT!!!... CCB aircon settings UP to 19 degree KNN thermostat pai liow... diao at 30 degrees.. KNN... i might as well sit on runway and cho kang????

So.. must cut hair.

I love Ah Huat cuts.. he makes me look hansem. He will fawn and fuss over my hair.. say here must cut like that like that.. and this must that and that... must give me a refleshing look... after 2 hours with him... my hair looks shorter... and he'll wash it.. gel it and blow dry it...

"Voila ..Yandao liow... go out and sian Amy Yip now!" he said..

/zzz he still thinkings Amy Yip's the hottest babe around.. I didnt want to deflate his cock by telling him.. Amy's nehs have drooped to the floor...

But HEY.. he makes me feel and look good...

After the day's wash ... i think i look normal again.. KNN... always make me happy for that 1 moment and made me part with my $10 so easily...

BUT still i trust Ah Huat to do my hair.. he makes me look consistently normal looking.. the last time i entered a barber shop.. The Barber made me look like i just came out of Detention Barracks (charged for AWOL.. must shave head kind of look and go sit inside DB for 10 days)..

What I hate most... he shaves the bits around my neck.. after that.. it itches like hell...its raw and its biting now... esp when the weather's so hot..

Dinner at Joe's place

Not Jack's Place...

Joe owes me a meal. and what better way to call it Joe's Place for dinner..

"eh Joe.. wat u cook ah?"

"Got beef, got chicken, got pork, got vegetables... and for you canto boi... got SOUP!"

"eh Joe... how come the taste all the same leh?"

"I use magic sauce..nice bo?"

I went to the kitchen and inspected the dustbin.. 3 bottles of emptied Lee Kum Kee Oyster Sauce and came back..

"eh joe... MAGIC YOUR F**KING HEAD LAH!".

............

I swear if i ever see Lee Kum Kee Sauce around me.. i'm going into hyperventilation and involuntary fits....

CCB that fella...

Man U lose !

KNN sexpected! see la.. nb! u think this bunch of kids are Scholes, Beckham, giggsy when they are kids meh? PUIZ! these bunch are WUSSIES lah.. Alex, i know u like kids.. but dont forget leh... they are playing in semi finals leh...at least field a bit more older ones lah...

I see the everthongs guy also tulan... tat tall tall guy his hair like a mop?



KNN... my mother likes him... can invert him upside down and use him to MOP the floor. especially those far reaching corners underneath the bed. Hands also so long.. can help to pick up all the bigger rubbish under also.

I'm HOT!

TO day my best friend Joe tell me eh.. u sibeh HOT looking leh..

"HOT KI LAN AH!"... lim peh sweating the whole day leh.. see my tee shirt? sweat until my nipples what kaler also you know! NABEH!

Today, me and Joe went to play futsal at East Coast. He want to show me how LONGnaldo do the "step over".. that KNN Kia macam do cha cha with the ball. KNN.. i see and laugh until my balls drop...

"eh WRONGnaldo... maybe u learn how to cha cha better lah"

'Ah Joe!! u just scored into your own net..... HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!"!

Encounter of the Gong Kias

Today mood ish suppose be good one. KNN.. must be some CCB chatters come and long me .. PUIZ! CHUT my middle fingers to YOU!.

This morning AH Joe called me..say he got bad headache.. think he got cut by my ceiling fan eh blade... WHY? because 6th minute WRONGnaldo scored 40 yards out.. sibeh happy right? Jump right? See lah? FORGOT MY CEILING GOT FAN LOR! U want to jump next time JUMP outside my house. Dont jump inside my house.. everywhere ceiling fans.. u lucky you not that tall or else your neck tio CHOP!

Okay lah.. i pity you.. only a small gash on the forehead... and some hair gone missing... knn.. your hair sibeh curly leh... wait people in my house think u cut your cock hair in my living room while watching football.. lucky me ish clean up before i go to bed..

Next time. i go over your house watch Semi finals lah.

PorkO 0 - 1 Man U

My backyard....

Swee bo?

KNNBCCB!

EH i neber intro myself hor? DIAO!..

Okay me ish MinisterMenTaL.. not related to the Gahmen eh MinisterMentor.. me is re-rated to Alamak.com.sg. u song .. come to alamak.. i sextertain u there song song.. hoot your kar chng .. limpeh make you peet.

I like make friends .. u like u meet me.. u dont like... pretend neber see me. One thing hor... dont hate me.. me ish some times friendly.. if you pretty and horny.. me is sextremely friendly.. heehe...

eh joke lah... life cannot be too serious hor? I gib u chill pill... u see me on the street dont call me "EH MINISTER MENTAL!"... limpeh chut middle finger hor li... u see me.. u say "YAN EH..ho bo?"

okay lah... bo eng liow... loon damn long liow.. waiting for that si lang pang sai mood to come so far pang pui niah... my sexcretary already leave the office a few times.. think my pui damn toxic...

ciao!

I think i got stomach ache

Last night dont know eat what. today in opice sibeh queasy. Go meet towkay.. suddenly kar chng chut some music... paiseh leh.

Eh.. i ate Beef Horfun leh.. from Alexandra Virrage. maybe that one lah... beef bo simi cooked.

later i go toilet.... eh blog like dat not gongsidered "dirty" hor?