Bird and the bees...

Joe that nite came over lim jiu with me. He shake his head and say his goalkeeper keep catching the ball.. PUIZ!

So i told him you IMPROVE your STRIKER lor... make sure the ball go into the net!

NBCB.. this is our code words... Goalkeeper (his wife eh....) and striker (Ah Joe eh...kim chio)...

So i told him.. eh gahmen is wondering why GIVE money STILL bo lang tio "TOTO"... ISH HE TOO KAN CHEONG... see money niah jack rabbit in out in out in out buey teng... KNN.. u think wat? One time shoot one time tio meh? U think u sniper ah? CB! Go join army lah..

U continue UP her like that u sure "Die cock stand"!

Told him.. he must slowly slowly..dont think of Gahmen eh lui.... think of LOURVE! MAKE LOVE NOT MAKE MONEY!

CB Joe... thinks of money only start to get horny...for the wrong reasons.. I told him.. Gahmen UP money.. EVERY ONE all waiting to hoot your pockets.. MILK money also UP... Nursery school Fees also ka limbeh UP...and also clothes lah..food lah.. siao ginnah's clothes from $10 become $20..also insurance.. sibeh hou siao.. life policies and medical also UP.. CCB... Gahmen give liow macham bo give...end up LPPL... if like that i might as well take my LP and PL kaki.

JOE,before your kia reach puberty.. you POK liow lah...

farking ulcers!

Nah beh! knn.. dont know how i get tongue ulcers! PUIZ! cannot talk..cannot eat.. cb tongue diam diam in the way!

Lunch dinner breakfast..knn now farking eat like a HORSE.. hoping the FOOD dont have to touch the tongue!

Ah Joe ask me if i go do PAINT JOB.. KNN.. if i paint.. the CB also will have ulcers and swelling! cos my tongue DAMN FIERCE KIND!

EH...Joe also correct.. cos when i do PAINT JOB.. my tongue fling here fling there.. whack in and out..left to right... if tio semi-shaved eh CB.. lim peh sure tio ulcers...

"FARK LAH JOE... LONG TIME BO PAINT JOB BUSINESS LIOW LAH!"

CCB Joe..

3rd and final Day of MSG-3 Course

AHHH!!!!

Take the bus driven by the same F1 driver again.. he smile and show me his missing tooth leh.. sibeh cute.. I show him my biceps.. tell him "eh uncle your driving make my arms sibeh strong!"...

F1 driver and me "HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!"

Anyway... no more vomit.. means i improved liow.. I also can swing better now hahahaha!!! next time take bus to work.. hahahaha!

Anyways.. last day of course... sian.. u know why? On course is paid holiday in hotel.. sit and listen (1 ear in other ear out)... day dream.. and jiak BUFFET!!!

Last day liow.. must aim the SASHIMI one more time HAHAHAHA!!!!

Round 1 - some SASHIMI..




Round 2 - some more SASHIMI.....



Round 3!!!!! - Gao liow... jiak sphagettis again...




After lunch sibeh sleepy....



So lim olen juice... AHHHHHHHH better than cockfee....




Haiz.. finally 3 days of MSG training... i can eat MSG like a certified Professional liow.... ah!

Eh..

Another day on Course

Today is another day on course.. other than the F1 Bus driver, i managed to vomit inside a NTUC bag...

I tell myself, no more sashimi... but heck! see sashimi like see char bor... lau nuah again... sibeh sexcited...

WHACK AGAIN!!!!!!!

ROUND 1!!





ROUND 2 - with Linguine Spaghetties...



Some lame soup... I call it ish Flour Soup.



EAT AND EAT... ah bey BUI! shiok!!!!!

Back to class....sibehsian

Worst Day of my Life!

Today is first day on course at Some Millionium Cocktorn Hotel somewhere south of Singapore, so Lim peh decide take bus to CBD. CBD got many bus go insides.. so no need drive car.. drive car must pay ERP, parking and by the time course end.. limp eh pay at least $25 by end of the day... KNN..$25 can at least jiak 1 solid buffet gao gao.. so steady! limpeh ki take bus

KNN!!! How come bo lang ka wa kong CB Bus driver is F1-trained one? KNNBCCB!!!! Turn here turn there.. 2nd stop niah lim peh feeling like vomit! lim peh hands hanging on the bloody railing on top swing like a monkey (because lim peh short mah!)... CB!

Show u pic of our bus inside.. eh nothing against the passengers...




Fark man! This kind of F1 trained Bus driver must be Fernando ahlongso teach one.. CB driver can train the Singapore sailing team to Gold leh.. NO WONDER we did so well during the asian games... must be trained by the Bus drivers .. teach them how to hang on to the railing swee swee...

Sorry.. cannot find a pic so clearly depict..



U get my idea lah...

Anyways, stay inside bus less than 10 mins... lim peh go hotel vomit liow...

Nothing worth to mention the Course lah.. go hotel attend course... also not go hotel INTER course.. puiz...

Anyway, Buffet look good.. See also lau nuah lao chup... whack 1 PLATEFUL of Sashimi.... heavenly......

then 1 hour later during lecture time... ki toilet lao sai...

I tot over liow.. go back conference room... KNN

half and hour later... Round 2...

annother 15 mins later ...Round 3...4....5....

KNN... farking hotel go refill toilet roll meh??? so poor meh???? CB! run of toilet rolls.. and KNNBCCB!!!! backside going to tear liow....bo pian dig my pocket for USED serviette.. CB Serviette sibeh chor... like sand paper.. PUIZ@


bo pian lah...

clean one more time..

no more shashimi tomolo... CCB!!!

Sex Toys kena Burnt!

WTF!!!???

HAHAHAHAHAH!!!! Lan Jiao, lum par, cheeze bye ALL kena burn! HAHAHAHAHAHA >


SINGAPORE: Employees at People's Park Complex say the storeroom that caught fire Wednesday last week contained sex toys.

They told MediaCorp the storeroom units on the fifth floor car park were rented for "several hundred dollars each month" but were unaware that they were illegally built.

They say many tenants were seen smoking, despite the "No Smoking" signs painted across the car park's wall.

SCMS Property Management, which manages People's Park Complex, says the car park is owned by another company and its management does not come under the company's purview.

A spokesman declined comment on the issue of compensation or illegal storerooms.

Other tenants say the fire alarm was tested weekly but there was no fire evacuation drill.

- CNA/j

Football talk and ......

Joe and myself have surrendered our Football Channel. PUIZ and Tiew the TWO CB telcos lah.. KNN... Next season of EPL, must have two set up box.. knn is like having wife and mistress in a house.. puiz! WHY can't they share now ?? cb gahmen still so sluggish..

Anyways.. Joe and myself went to Kopitiam watch football. cheap and good. 1 Kopi gao baru 80 cents. and KNNBCCB.. only 1 farking cup lah... cb Joe ask for kopi gao, then ask for 1 extra cup, then ask for half a cup warm water... u know why? MIX WITH 30% of MY KOPI GAO. Ni nao hia!

We watch the whole fuggin match for almost 90mins, all like last night pah chiu cheng or ki Geylang hoot a few char bors before the match.. KNN.. all shoot like cb guniangs... legs like cannot kick.. must assisted by the "third" leg.. puiz!

Man U SIBEH heng again.. last minute got 1 paul scolds LOOT jip liow gib Man U win. Anyways.. limpeh lose money lah... buy 3 balls end up 1 ball.

after that go where? my place jiak maggi mee....